Love Language

From the minute Poppy Anne was born, she was smiling. Literally. Just fascinated with the world around her. From even her first days on the planet, she just exuded joy and an adventurous spirit, smiling at everything and everyone, fascinated by just about anything. It was almost like she feels it her job to light up anyone's face she passes wherever we go. Very rarely cries or gets upset. Super laid back kid.

So four weeks ago when some alien invasion replaced my sweet happy child with a screaming rage-monster, I was really thrown for a loop. At first I thought these temper tantrums were just "normal" - she'd slap me across the face with all her strength, scream at me if I told her no, etc. But then a couple weeks into this rage stage, she did this for almost 3 hours - hitting me, kicking me, slapping me, screaming at me. And then the next night she did it for another 90 minutes or so. I was just floored.

A few more days of intermittent episodes like this and I was at my wits end. I had no idea what to do or how to help her, but I knew something was not normal, that I was missing some critical fact or need in my child.  So I got on the phone with my sister and started telling her all that had been happening. She's got two kids and has been through a lot with them, and on top of that, she's just a wise, intuitive person with great instincts.  As we talked, she said something that absolutely blew me away in its simplicity. She said, "It sounds like Poppy's love language is quality time."

I cannot express the relief and excitement I felt as that truth rang an enormous bell in my heart and head! My love language is NOT quality time, so I was giving her all the words of affirmation and all the physical touch I could load her up with, but I was not speaking her love language.

Up until about four weeks ago, every night we came home from school and work, I would devote all my time to just her until she went to bed. But I read some child raising book that said not to do that - that you should integrate your kid into the evening schedule and not give them any special treatment, etc. So I'd been trying to abide by that at night. No wonder she started throwing fits - what I was telling the most precious person in my life was that Mommy didn't love her because I wasn't giving her quality Mommy & Poppy time.

Needless to say, the very next night I went back to our old way of doing things, and guess what - it's been a week and not a single tantrum, lots of sleeping thru the night going on these days, and a ton more smiling and exploring her world again with that sweet open and loving attitude.

It is just incredible to see these little people grow into themselves - and what an honor to help them and affirm them as they do.